The Bright Side is the Right Side

When it comes to attitude, people are mostly reactive. That is to say that their attitude is gauged by their surroundings. We clearly are capable of looking at the positives in our life if we’re provoked to do so. Funerals, birthdays, a well-publicized tragedy, and any special occasion leads to an appreciation for the positives in our lives: friends, family, employment, food, shelter, etc. It doesn’t have to be that way. That’s not a feeling that should be experienced only a few times a year; it can happen everyday. In a world that is already dominated by a media that focuses on the negative, sensationalizes it and makes it even more negative, there's no reason that we have to live a life that does the same. I do believe it's important to be aware of the negatives of life, of a situation, to ensure that they don’t sneak up on you. Awareness is never bad; however, being aware and being focused are very different. Focus on the positive, to focus on the alternative only breeds worry, fear, melancholy, or contempt. You don't want those things; neither do those around you.

We’re all familiar with the cliché about misery loving company, and while trite, I couldn’t agree more. I like to say negativity breeds negativity. A negative comment, negative demeanor, negative outlook will usually result in another negative comment, another negative demeanor, and another negative outlook. It makes sense too. If someone’s sad, that person doesn’t want to be sad alone. If someone’s angry, that person doesn’t want to be angry alone. It’s probably not even a conscious decision to do so, but pulling someone into his or her negativity is almost an instinct. Negativity is very powerful, if we let it be. What people seem to ignore is that positivity breeds positivity too! A positive comment, positive demeanor, positive outlook will often result in another positive comment, another positive demeanor, and another positive outlook. It’s the reason smiles are contagious. When you smile at a baby it will usually smile back because even though the baby isn’t completely sure what’s going on, it feels the positivity … the goodness.

It’s easy for us to pretend that the childhood adage about sticks and stones is always true, but deep down we know it isn’t. Sometimes words do hurt. Clearly some get hurt by words too often or too easily, but that isn’t the norm. If the right word(s) is spoken at the right time from the right person, it can have a huge effect. We don’t like to admit that though because we grew up with the idea that words shouldn’t hurt us. To a large degree, I’d agree; we are far too sensitive as a society. However, once again, we seem to forget or ignore that the opposite is just as true! If something is said to someone at the right time from a positive person, it can also have a huge effect. Words are more powerful than we often give them credit for being. That being the case, why not use more positive ones than negative ones? So words can hurt us sometimes, but they can help us just as profoundly.

If we're not careful, we can be sucked into the negativity very easily because it's part of the daily routine of so many we encounter. Mondays are an excuse people use so often. “How are you today?” “Eh … it's Monday.” People say the word Monday like it's so terrible because it's the first day of the work week or the school week. They see it as just a sign that the end of the work or school week is so far away. Mondays can be enjoyed just as much as any other day, after all, it's us taking the first step towards Friday … we're on our way! People often tend to complain about how terrible their job is. Firstly, is it really that bad or are you exaggerating? I'm betting 99% of the time it's an exaggeration, given that I've never met someone who cleans portal-potties or who worked in a sweatshop as a child. Secondly, having a job compared to unemployment will always win. I think we'd all agree that life is so much easier when we're in a good mood, so let's try and make that our mood as often as possible.

So since we've established that positivity breeds more positivity, I say, pass a smile. I often send text messages with silly and random phrases just because I know the person reading them will smile. Sometimes I post something on someone's Facebook wall for the same reason. I wish people a happy day (regardless of which day of the week, which means I don't discriminate against Mondays). I try to give a compliment everyday. As a general rule, I try not to give compliment in the obvious situations. In other words, don't only compliment someone on their appearance when they “get dressed up”. Don't compliment someone on their performance at work, or school, or in sport only when they get an award or some other recognition.

Life will have adversity, but when knocked down, we get back up and we must move forward.  We will get angry, but it's important that we don't hold onto the anger too long.  Holding grudges gains nothing, and only leaves you in a bad mood longer than normal and usually longer than the person against whom you hold it.

Smiles are contagious and we have a lot more to smile about than we often realize, so pass a smile to remind those around you and yourself of that.

Focus on the positive, to focus on the alternative only breeds worry, fear, melancholy, or contempt. You don't want those things; neither do those around you.